Funny exam answers

NCEA is not far away and you probably are up for a little exam humour. The quotes below are from Science exams.

“The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.”

“The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends toward the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors the vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.”

“A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.”

“Germinate : To become a naturalised German.”

“Litter : A nest of young puppies.”

“Momentum : What you give a person when they are going away.”

“Planet : A body of Earth surrounded by sky.”

“Rhubarb : A kind of celery gone bloodshot.”

“Vacuum : A large empty space where the pope lives.”

“Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.”

“To remove the dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.”

“For a nosebleed : Put nose much lower than the body until the heart stops.”

“For drowning : Climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artificial perspiration.”

“For dog bite : put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.”

“For asphyxiation : Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.”

“To prevent contraception : wear a condominium.”

“For head cold : use an agoniser to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.”

“To keep milk from turning sour : Keep it in a cow.”


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