4. We begin to understand early in the novel that Amir is constantly vying for Baba’s attention and often feels like an outsider in his father’s life, as seen in the following passage: “He’d close the door, leave me to wonder why it was always grown-ups time with him. I’d sit by the door, knees drawn to my chest. Sometimes I sat there for an hour, sometimes two, listening to their laughter, their chatter.” Discuss Amir’s relationship with Baba.
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Like so many father/son relationships, we soon learn that Amir and Baba have a rather strained relationship. Because of Baba’s high position in society and his imposing physical appearance Amir feels that he must constantly prove himself to Baba and live up to the strong courageous man that Baba is. Throughout the novel we learn that Baba finds Amir difficult to relate to. Baba, a great sports player in his day, can’t understand Amir’s bookish ways. Somehow Baba and Amir never see eye to eye. Amir is haunted by the feeling that he is constantly letting Baba down. Like any child Amir longs to please his father and be loved and understood by him.
Later in the book we discover that Baba is Hassan’s father and we now know why Baba gave so much attention to Hassan. To Amir, the attention Baba gave to Hassan was unfair because, in Amir’s eyes, Hassan was just the servant. Therefore the equal treatment of the boys seemed unfair.
Amir and Baba’s relationship is like a lot of father/son relationships, a bit held back and not very close. We find out later in the novel that Baba doesn’t understand why Amir isnt like him, all sporty and strong. Amir is jealous of Hassan and Baba’s relationship.
At the beginning of the novel, we see that Amir and Baba, although father and son, they are opposite. Amir is an intellectual, and loves writing and reading. Baba loves sport and wants Amir to feel as passionate about it as he does.
This father/son relationship, like so many, was cold and strained.
Thanks to Valeska I’ve found out that they aren’t really father and son. This is all i have to say… for now.
They are Father and son you crazy person! Baba is also Hassan’s Father, which makes Amir and Hassan half brothersss!
Amirs relationship with Baba is frail as they are two different people. Baba is a manly person who is tough and loves sport etc while Amir prefers writing stories and reading. Amir feels like an outside and doesn’t get along with his father. He also gets the cold shoulder most of the time and is rejected by Baba. He sees the kite tournament as a way of getting into his fathers heart.
Amir’s relationship with Baba isn’t the best as Amir feels that Baba is giving to much love to Hassan as Hassan is just a servant so therefore isn’t as important. This is because Baba is really Hassans father so Baba trys to give Hassan lots of love but not in the way he wants.
The relationship between Amir and Baba is like the relationship between the drinker and a lemon. The drinker may like some lemon in their water, but most don’t like sucking on the lemon. If you do, you are a freak. Baba can tolerate parts of Amir, but is uncomfortable about getting a full on relationship with Amir, because it would turn sour. Amir wants to get closer to Baba, but fears him. I think Amir realises their differences while in America, and both characters appear to accept their differences.
Thats all I have to say … for now.
Baba and Amir have a hard relationship. Amir seems to feel that he can never be good enough for his father and live up to his expectations. Amir has Baba on a pedastal and he thinks, as well as the communtie that baba is a great man. Baba may look at Amir and see his dead wife, and in part he may blame Amir for her death as she died during childbirth. Baba may never have gotten over this. Baba and Amir are two very different people in their interests and what they stand for. Baba seems to be brave and honest and sticks up for what he believes in. Amir is weak and a coward. he does not stick up for what he believes in, he lets other people place there opinions on him.
I made a false statement everyone, sorry.
Correction:
Thanks to Valeska I’ve found out that Hassan is also part of Baba and Amir’s family. Riiight.
Amir feels that his father loves Hassan more than him and is jealous of this because Hassan is just a servant. He thinks that because he is not like his father who is basically a hero he must find a way to earn his fathers love
We think that Amir longs for Baba’s attention. He realises that Baba and himself are different and enjoy different things in life which pushes them further away from eachother. Amir constantly puts himself down throughout the novel comparing himself to his father, like he has to live up to his fathers expectations which sadly Baba held. Amir felt he wasn’t sporty enough, big enough, smart enough or courageous enough. This played on Amir’s mind even after Baba died and it shows how much his father had influenced his life and influened what Amir had done in his life. It’s not until Amir offers a fight with Assef and gets beaten almost until he dies that he feels he has lived up to Baba’s expectations and can move on.
Amir and Baba have a strange relationship. They have almost nothing in common and are very different people. Amir like reading and writing stories compared to Baba who likes soccor and socalising with is huge partys.
Their relationship is awkward.
Baba expects and wished Amir were more like him. This is especially true in the eyes of Amir who always feels that Baba doesn’t accept him, and is constantly trying to please his father. Baba’s judgment and reactions are most important, and painful to Amir. In some ways their relationship doesn’t seem like father and son.
Amir is desperate for Babas love and approval. Amir does not relate to Baba as they have different interests etc. Baba gives attention to Hassan and Amir is angry at this as hes not even family. Amir is weak and does not stick up for himself.
Amir is constantly battling for his fathers approval and Baba wants the son that Amir is not. Amir loves writing, reading and poetry and Baba likes sport. In one of his discussions with his friend Rahim Khan he says that he “wasn’t like that” and is frustrated that he can’t relate to his own son. Hassan is closer with Baba than Amir is and he secretly envies this. Their relationship is distant and Baba acts like he is not proud of Amir.
Amir and Baba have a distant relationship between them because Amir isn’t exactly the son that Baba wants. As Baba was a sporty and strong boy while he was growing up and expected his own son to be like that as well. Amir is more into reading books and writing poetry.
Baba finds it hard to relate to Amir about anything until Amir and Hassan win the Kite Fighting contest, which Baba feels really proud of Amir for doing. Baba even celebrates Amir’s 13th birthday with all of his own friends. Amir does realize that Baba is more than likely only having the party because he did win the kite fighting contest, if he didn’t win the party would not of happened.
Amir also feels that Baba favours Hassan more which doesn’t seem right to Amir as he is only the servants son and is of a lower status to Baba and Amir.
I think that Amir is always trying to please Baba because he feels as if he isnt good enough for his father. He gets frustrated and angry at Baba when he dosent get the love and attention that he craves. He thinks the world of his father and is proud to be Babas son but he is always thinking that he isnt enough like baba to truely get his love. he is jealous of hassans and Babas relationship.
Amir is constantly looking for approval from Baba, and because of the differences of character it is hard for Amir to find something that he can be good at that Baba will approve of.
Amir and Babas father/son relationship is very unhealthy. Baba cannot hide his disappointment in his son, and Amir points out that he feels guilt for being born and killing his fathers precious ‘princess’. Any child which thinks that its birth was a mistake will have a bad relationship with their parents.
Baba is the big man in the community who everyone looks up to. Amir compares himself to Baba and thinks of himself as a coward because nobody looks up to him the way they look up to Baba.
Amir feels like a failure because he wants to be everything that his father wants him to be, but he cant and so feels like he constantly is letting his father down.
Amirs relationship with Baba is close in a way but in a way it isnt. It is close as they talk about intimate things like religion and school and sinning. They hug and Amir sits on his knee and that sort of thing. However, in a way they are not close. They have very different interests and are very different people. Amir is into poetry and history while Baba likes sport and drinking. They do not talk about sport and their interests and in this way they dont really bond like father and son. Baba however is prouder of Amir than Amir thinks. Amir thinks that baba doesnt like him and possibly even prefers Hassan and Amir is very jealous of this.
Excellent discussion of Baba and Amir. I think you understand the complexities of their relationship and why there are difficulties.
Amir constantly tries to gain baba’s affection constantly because he feels that he is not good enough[kind of thing] and cannot live up to baba’s expectations and become such a great man like baba. amir resents hassan because baba is proud of him and they way he acts where as amir is a coward and will not stand up for himself. he wishes to be more lyk hassan to live up to his fathers standards
Amir respects his father a lot and knows that he is a great man who does so many kind things for other people. He desperately seeks his fathers approval of what he does but very rarely feels good enough. The times when Baba does show some affection towards Amir are cherished. As Amir gets older there relation ship seems to get stronger, when they have less money and have to rely on eachother more. I don’t think Amir ever realised how much his father loved him until he talked to Rahim Khan and realised why Baba treated Hassan as he would a son.
I agree Rebecca, Amir doesn’t believe he is good enough. Thank you for your comment.
This has been a Baba/Amir discussion. What about Ali/Hassan? Despite the fact that they are not blood relatives, I think Ali, in a way has done more for Hassan than Baba could have. One thing seems to be very true: the less money you have, the bettrer kids you make. “Kids are not born,they are made” (Watson). Hassan is humble, sweet, devoted to his religion, virtuous, and forgiving. I think he can be seen as a Christ-like figure. Despite Amir’s brutal betrayal, Hassan is still loyal to him. He forgives him. I honestly cannot comprehend how Hassan was able to forgive Amir. Hassan has a heart of compassion – only love could have helped him get through this….
Thank you Vera. We have just started our novel study but you have added an excellent comment for the students to discuss further. We have yet to focus on the father/son realtionships in The Kite Runner nor have we looked at the characters in any depth.