Many of you are revising figures of speech for the upcoming exams. Have a look at these actual analogies and metaphors that were found in high school essays in the United States.
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
9. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
10. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
11. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
12. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
13. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
14. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
15. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
16. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
17. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
18. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
english@cc 
That was, by far, the funniest thing I have read in ages. I cried. I love English humour!
Thanks L.Mo! Aren’t they great? I challenge anyone to make up worse ones than those. It can’t be done I tells ya!
Im a come at you like a spider monkey
Um…#7 is not actually a metaphor. It’s a comparison. Actually, many of these examples are not metaphors. Some may be close, and work the same ways metaphors do in evoking a schema by comparing to different things that share like qualities; however, that does not make them metaphors.
When a phrase includes the word “like” in oder to make a comparison, it becomes a comparison, and most often not metaphorical.
Take the back stabbing picture for example. To be stabbed in the back in the picture is literal. However, if I said “Fred stabbed me in the back” (and you knew that there was not a knife in my back), this would be metaphorical.
These are great. The sort of humor that seems effortless.
I like 16! Oh, that’s my age…
Symbolic.
These are all actually similes. The writers are comparing things that have much in common and they are terribly funny.
Getting stabbed in the back may be a metaphor, but I think it’s more along the lines of an idiom.
what’s wrong with number 13?
that was so funny. those are too funny
Delightful, Find some more of these please.